Normally, I’m not one for any kind of book that even
vaguely resembles “self help”…not that I don’t think I’m in need of help, of
course; I’ll take all the help I can get ! It’s just that I’m naturally
skeptical and tend not to believe everything I read, and while I very much
enjoy reading other people’s stories I don’t automatically find relevance to my
own life in them (I’m secretly convinced everyone is more fabulous and together
than I am; definitely a sort of “imposter syndrome” .) There are some books,
though, that are the exception to that rule; here are two that have profoundly
changed my life over the last year. Maybe because they’re not really self
help…more memoirs. Whatever you call them, they both really, really spoke to me
– so I’d like to share them here.
The first one – the one that really set me on my
journey – was Brittany Gibbons' “Fat Girl Walking” Brittany Gibbons is a blogger (I’ve followed her for a long time; www.brittanyherself.com),
body image advocate, and basically all around gorgeous hella-cool chick; I
devour every word she writes like it’s going out of style. Her first book came
out a few weeks after I had joined Weight Watchers…of course, I already had it
on pre-order since well before my decision to join WW. As soon as I got it I
immediately stayed up late to read it, alternating between tears, exclamations,
and not a small amount of smiling. Here was someone who had gone through so
many of the same things I had – not feeling good enough or worthy enough,
sabotaging my own health and happiness to do what I thought other people wanted
just so they would (I hoped) love me and accept me. Things that I thought I was
the only person that did…turns out it wasn’t just me. It was a revelation, and
a wake-up call, and - I firmly believe - a huge reason I was successful in my
weight loss journey.
At first, it seems like it would be counter-intuitive –
how could a book about learning to accept my body at the size it was help me on
the path I had chosen to lose weight ? Well, funny thing about that…it turns
out that was exactly what I needed in order to make it different this time. I
needed to learn to love myself at any size; to know that even as big I as I was
I was beautiful, sexy, and deserving of love (especially - and most importantly
- from myself.) That even if I never lost another pound I was worthy of being
out there in the world (in a bikini if I wanted, a la Brittany) and that I
didn’t have to compare or compromise myself to anyone. There were people in my
life that already loved me like I was; time for me to join their ranks. And as
a result of this massive bit of self-introspection I allowed enough love into
my life to carry me through the past year of weight loss; it was so strong that
it finally helped me to make my health a priority in a meaningful way. Not to
improve my looks – because I now truly understand that my looks were perfectly
fine before, and I’ve loved how I look every step of the way – but my health. I
feel confident enough to have picked a goal weight well above the WW range
(with my doctor’s input and approval), because it’s the right weight for me – it’s where I feel the most
beautiful. Plus, I still get to eat the food I love (in moderation)…which
brings me to the next book.
The second book that changed my life – the perfect
bookend to Brittany’s, at least for me – was Andie Mitchell’s “It Was Me All Along”. Like Brittany, Andie is a blogger (http://www.andiemitchell.com ) ; however, in her case I read her book
before discovering her blog. The book had been mentioned in my WW meeting and I
had dutifully written it down and forgotten it – until I happened upon it by chance
at a bookstore in the Detroit airport during a layover this past February. Once again, I found myself reading this whole book immediately, then reading it again…because, like
Brittany’s, this book spoke to my life. Very similar upbringings (only the
Boston suburb was different) and relationships – and pretty much EXACTLY the
same relationship with food; a love of not only eating it, but cooking it in
large quantities (especially, rich, indulgent, sigh-inducing foods) as a way of
showing my love for other people. This whole blog is a love letter to that very
principle; the idea of a Culinary Orgasm. My appreciation of good food – and
love of sharing it with others – was such an ingrained, treasured part of my
personality; I was so scared of changing it long-term in order to maintain my
weight loss...not just could I do it, but did I truly want to ? I was also incredibly disappointed with the changes to the WW
program (not to bash them here, but the new SmartPoints retool is just AWFUL
for me, anyway; I lost my first 75 pounds under PointsPlus without ever
gaining, so I know that one works; I’ve lost only a few since and have actually
gone up a few times. SmartPoints is just not for me.) I was despairing of getting through the last
couple of pounds to my goal, and maintenance didn’t sound nearly as doable with
the flexibility of the program now shot (anything remotely like a treat is now
so high in points that it’s nearly impossible to fit in – at least not
regularly, like you could before. Occasional treats are so important- it makes
it a lifestyle, not a diet. And eating them works for me – see above. But I
digress…)
And then…like magic, just when I needed her…enter Andie Mitchell. Andie had lost 135 (!!!) pounds by basically
changing her relationship with food…she had started on WW, but then
transitioned to basically calorie-counting, which sounded much more reasonable
(to me, anyway!) – at the end of the day weight loss is really about more
calories out than in. Just math, really…which WW seems to have lost track of in
their push to get us to make better choices. So I started counting calories in
addition to points, to make sure I was really in the range I needed to be to
continue losing weight…and wonder of wonders, it started coming off again and
I’m now less than five pounds from goal. (Short version of why I’m doing both; I
really want to get to Lifetime WW Status so I can go to meetings for free;
while I don’t love the plan, I LOVE my meeting and my leader, and can’t see how
I’d maintain without that support. Basically, with the calorie counting I don’t
freak out about using weekly / activity points or coming in under my point total for the day as long as I stay within my
calorie goal for healthy weight loss. I won’t track both forever, but it works for
now...I’m hoping to get to the point where I just mentally tally without having
to physically track. Unless I start to gain, of course –then I’ll track
everything until I get back to where I need to be. That’s my plan, anyway…I
know, it wasn’t really the short version !)
Anyway – Andie’s “Pad” Thai – I’m getting there! Andie
still enjoys good food in moderation, which is exactly what I wanted to be able
to do too. Her website / blog (www.andiemitchell.com
) and just released cookbook, "Eating in the Middle" are both chock full of delicious recipes; some for everyday eating, and some
once-in-a-while treats. Exactly the way I want to live my life. The first dish
I made from the website was the Tamale Chicken Pot Pies - these were so insanely delicious that we wolfed them all down before I
could take a picture and blog them. (You should definitely go make them NOW.
I’ll wait J
) )
I paused long enough with the second dish in order
to get a picture for you. Believe you me; it took a lot of restraint!
The magic of this dish is in the “noodles” – there
are actually no noodles in this dish. Andie substitutes shredded cabbage, which
is absolutely brilliant; cabbage is super low in calories / has zero
SmartPoints, so it makes this dish super helpful when you’re trying to take in
less. I love Pad Thai and was stoked to find a way for it to easily fit my
plan. Andie actually has two versions of this, one on her website and one in
her book; I basically mashed them together, taking the parts I liked from both.
I’m linking to both below; I have no doubt that each recipe exactly as written
would work perfectly, so do what works for you. (I’ll also note exactly what I
did at the bottom – mostly so *I* remember !! ). Basically, I used the
technique from the website version as it was simpler, but incorporated some of
the ingredients from the cookbook version as I liked those better (as well as
working in my beloved Sambal Oelek chili paste, which just makes everything
yummy.) I’ll also note that I used
preshredded cabbage (like for coleslaw) as I was in a rush – which worked, but
next time I’ll chop my own so I can get it longer and thinner and more
noodle-like. I topped mine with some cooked shrimp to up the protein content and
make it more of a main dish; this is not noted in my directions, but any cooked
protein would work on this if you want to go that route (traditional Pad Thai
often has shrimp, tofu, and/or chicken. As always, use what you like – or just
go with the veg.)
Enjoy!
Website Version:
Cookbook Version (from Oprah’s website, actually. I
KNOW.) :
Andie
Mitchell’s “Pad” Thai – Culinary Orgasm’s Mashed Up Version
Serves 2
Ingredients
1 ½ T
soy sauce
1 ½ T
fish sauce
2 t
sugar
2 large
eggs
1 t
(or to taste) Sambal Oelek (or your favorite chili paste)
1
very small onion, thinly sliced
1
very small green bell pepper, seeded, ribs removed and thinly sliced
2 – 4
garlic cloves, minced
5
cups finely shredded green cabbage (about half a medium head)
1/4
cup fresh cilantro or Thai basil, chopped
2 T
finely chopped peanuts
Lime
wedges, for serving
Directions
In a
small bowl, whisk together the soy sauce, fish sauce and sugar
In
another small bowl, beat the eggs.
Heat
a 12-inch nonstick skillet over medium-high heat and spray with cooking spray
or oil (or add a small amount of vegetable or peanut oil.) Add the onion and
pepper and cook, stirring frequently, until tender but still crisp, about 5
minutes. Add the garlic and cook, stirring constantly, until fragrant, about 30
seconds. Transfer the vegetables to a plate.
Spray
or oil the skillet again, and add the cabbage and cook, stirring frequently,
until tender but still crisp, about 5 minutes. Add the eggs and cook, stirring
constantly, until just set, about 2 minutes (scramble them right into the
cabbage)
Add
the soy-sauce mixture and stir well to combine.
Stir in the onions and peppers. Remove the pan from the heat and stir in
the fresh cilantro. Top with the chopped
peanuts and additional Sambal, if desired.; serve with lime wedges.
